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The Relationship Game Date Published: 12/1/1997 by Bernie Ashman
Bio: Bernie Ashman

Bernie Ashman is the author of Astrological Games People Play and RoadMap to Your Future, published by ACS Publications, Inc. as well as the Skyscope Birthchart Profile and the Prediction Report produced by Air Software. He has a large astrological practice in Durham, NC. Bernie serves clients throughout the United States and in other countries and has been a practicing Astrologer since 1974. He is a popular lecturer and will be speaking at the United Astrology Conference in Atlanta, Ga., in 1998.



I became an Astrologer in 1974. The journey began in a bookstore in Atlanta, Georgia, in 1973. I was thumbing through books in the metaphysical section and came across a little gem called The Astrology of Personality by a Frenchman, Dane Rudhyar. What amazed me was that the book was written in 1936! It was a time when Astrology was labeled as nothing more than fortune telling. What impressed me was that Rudhyar took a deep psychological and person-centered approach in his work. I found myself diving instantaneously into the study of Astrology. I didn't realize then that this subject is a lifetime study that takes an immense amount of practice and patience to truly master. I read more books by Rudhyar and other authors, took an introductory class, and eventually started doing readings.

Over the years, I have built a large practice. My work addresses everything including a person's career, search for the right location, family issues, creativity, spiritual journeys, financial and health concerns. I have to say that although these are major life pursuits in their own right, the drive to find and maintain a romantic relationship often surpasses them! I have some clients with no real interest in finding a partner in life. They love complete solitude and are quite dedicated to other life arenas. However, a vast majority of my clients are very interested in finding a soul mate. That special someone with whom to share their time, dreams, problems, and happiness.

It is mystery and intrigue that leads many of us to play the relationship game.

There is a lot of truth in that we do invest a part of our soul in a lover. There is always an equal chance that we will find happiness and/or sorrow with any relationship. With the completion of Simpáticos, a relationship report writer for Matrix Software, I am equally excited about writing a new book at this time, Astrological Games Lovers Play, for my new publisher, Llewellyn. In the first chapter, The Field of Play, I state that "If only romantic relationships always had a beginning that predictably led to harmony! It is mystery and intrigue that leads many of us to play the relationship game. Perhaps it's the excitement of unpredictably that romantic love offers that entices a person to avidly seek it in another person." In spite of the high divorce rate, each of us will fight the odds and keep looking for that right relationship. What drives us? Sometimes it's the passion and sexual high. Maybe it's that need for companionship. Finding a person we can trust can be such a wonderful feeling.

My new book discusses the games that can occur between any two Sun signs being compared. A game is a repetitive pattern of behavior that may surface, potentially interfering with the harmony of a relationship. For instance, two Aries individuals might act out the "Hit and Run" game. This doesn't mean the two rams don't belong together. They do need to stop long enough to hear each other so they keep moving through life with some sense of unity. This fiery couple moves quickly but might need to watch out for follow through.

I include a Strategy section to deal with each game. The "Hit and Run" game requires patience and taking the time to listen to one another's needs. A staying power comes with acknowledging one another's talents and goals. There is even a Rainbow section following the Strategy discussions that points to the potential for harmony that any two signs can achieve together.

Communication is an essential ingredient to ensuring mutual understanding. Listening and speaking go hand-in-hand. Couples that talk in times of good luck or difficult challenges can survive any threat to the stability of being together. It takes many individuals years of being together to truly know one another on the deepest of levels. A willingness to talk after the fallout of a heated disagreement finds many more people enjoying greater passion. Conflict does not always send a signal that a relationship is in trouble no more than does having no arguments simply imply everything between two people is just fine. Denial is a way to never have a fight. We can look through rose colored glasses, painting distorted pictures of reality. Balancing the intensity and stabilizing factors is usually a wise policy.

There are no perfect relationships because there are no perfect people. I have said this during countless sessions with clients. When two people meet and are excited about discovering one another, this is just the beginning. The initial attraction and feelings are fun to experience. Then what? Every relationship requires work and commitment to achieve the desired outcome. Relationships can stimulate all sorts of unpredictable behaviors. Why? It's the intense emotional energy that romantic love awakens that makes for uncharted territory. The adventure of falling in love brings out everything from being the risk taker to a hopeless romantic. It pumps us with energy to even be more creative. Being accepted by another person is confirming and can take us past a fear of rejection that can get in the way of enjoying a successful commitment.

I make it clear in Astrological Games Lovers Play that any two Sun signs can find peace and happiness together. It's that willingness to grow a little, laugh a little, forgive a lot, and talk a lot, that adds up to a winning formula!

© Copyright: Bernie Ashman





Other articles by Bernie Ashman:

Ashman, BernieSaturn: The "Cosmic Chiropractor"

Ashman, BernieTen Paths to Creative Freedom

Ashman, BernieInterview with Bernie Ashman



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